I was in the middle of writing my protocol when it came…a most unpleasant distraction. I was just starting my 3 mile run…when it came. Grabbing well readings. During the morning meeting. In the middle of last night’s Sons of Anarchy.
I’ve talked a little bit about the emotional toil a back injury can have on you. I’ve talked about the toll it has on your time. Your patience. What I haven’t talked about is one of the less talked about issue that accompany a ruptured disk in the lower lumbar region…a leaky ass.
Turns out the nerves that are pinched down there also control your ass sphincter. What?
I feel like I need an ass tampon.
It starts after I’ve been standing for awhile. Gravities cruel pull.
Walking then brings it to my full attention.
Jogging…it starts to shout at me.
It must be acidic or caustic in some way…cause it burns.
I’m not talking about giant gobs of poo falling out my asshole. I’m talking about goo. Just like a little natural ass lube. I’m not gay or anything, and I’ve certainly never had anal sex…at least not on the receiving end. So the idea of even having natural ass lube, not to mention the fact that it’s leaking outside my body…and hurts, makes me a little freaked out.
At first I just felt like maybe I needed a maintenance wipe. I do live in Las Vegas and work out in the sun alot. Sometimes your ass gets sweaty. But then the wipes came a little too often.
I became…acutely aware of my asshole.
That’s the worst part about this. I don’t want to be aware of my asshole. I want to remain in the background of my mind. Like an old suit case stored in the attic. I know its there and I’ll get to it when I want it. I certainly don’t need to check on it multiple times a day.
Interestingly enough It doesn’t happen when I’m engaged in strenuous exercise. Playing soccer and doing my kettlebell work don’t have any negative affect on my bum. There’s a lesson in that.
I think that the surrounding muscles help activate the sphincter, or my running around unconsciously makes me clench my deep pelvic floor. In either case…I’ve got some exercising to do. I will be the master of what and when things come out of my ass.
The Fire and The Forge 